Burn baby Burn
by ASGT and Kat Maximoff
Summary: Subtitled: When Kurt went on a book burning spree and what happened then. Mix St. John and blue books into the mix... and you get an angry mob of mutants all hunting for our fuzzy.


Burn baby Burn  
  
Subtitled: How Kurt went on a book burning spree and what happened then.  
  
~  
  
Kurt walked down the hall early one Saturday morning. It was June 21st, roughly 6 in the morning. Kurt hadn't been able to sleep any longer, so he got up. As he passed his sisters room, he peered inside of it. There, was Rogue, sitting on the bed cross-legged, reading a book. A thick blue book. And, he noticed, she had huge bags under her eyes.  
  
"Rogue, vhat are you doing?" Kurt asked, as he slowly krept into the room.  
  
"Oh mah god! Sirius!" Rogue gasped, looking at the book in front of her in disbelief. "They killed Sirius!" Her eyes went round. Kurt looked at his sister like she had grown another head.  
  
"Vhat are you talking about?" He asked.  
  
"Bellatrix! She killed Sirius!"  
  
"Ja, I got zhat, but who are zhey?"  
  
"Kurt, don't you like, know anything?" Kitty asked from the bed on the opposite side of the room, she was also in the middle of the blue book.  
  
"Ja, I do, but who are zhese people?" He asked, looking from Kitty to Rogue.  
  
"It's Harry Potter." Kitty explained gently, setting down her book.  
  
"Oh, zhat explains everyzink." Kurt had been dragged to the first two Potter movies by Jamie. And Jubilee. And Amara. And Bobby. And Tabitha. And Kitty. And Rogue. And half the institute. Kurt shook his head and bamfed out of the room, into the living room.  
  
~  
  
"Luna Lovegood?!? Where did she come from?" Jean asked herself, sipping some black coffee and holding the book up with her TK.  
  
"I donno. I wonder if Harry and Cho are gonna get together." Scott said, looking at Jean and placing his arm around her shoulder. *Sigh* Kurt looked at the in disgust and bamfed to the Library. Where he thought he was safe.  
  
~  
  
But no. He wasn't safe. There, was the rest of the institute.  
  
" 'Half a dozen badges slid out of the metal chute where returned coins usually appeared. Hermione scooped them up and handed them mutely to Harry over Ginny's head; he glanced at the topmost one. "BHarry Potter. Rescue mission."/B'" Professor Xavier read, holding up the book and reading it aloud to the New Recruits, Ororo, Mr. McCoy and Logan.  
  
"Not zhem too! I have to do somezhink about ziz insanity!" Kurt mumbled to himself before bamfing off to his room to do some research, but not before grabbing a phone book from the nearest shelf that possessed such items.  
  
~  
  
An hour later, the door bell rang. Kurt walked to get it, knowing that everyone else was too busy reading the evil book to pay any attention to the door. He had called many people. Everyone was busy reading that dang book. Even the Brotherhood was reading it! So in a last attempt, Kurt called the only person he knew would appreciate his plan.  
  
" 'Ello mate!" St. John said gleefully from the door way, flicking his lighter on and off.  
  
"Zhank gott zhat you are here. Quick, ve must act quickly ozherwise zhey vill notice zhat somezhink has gone wrong." St. John didn't have time to ask any questions before he was whisked off to no-wheresville to begin plotting.  
  
~  
  
Bamf!  
  
Bamf!  
  
Bamf!  
  
Bamf!  
  
Bamf!  
  
Bamf!  
  
Bamf!  
  
Bamf!  
  
Bamf! The final bamf brought Kurt to the back yard, where St. John had set up a circle of rocks. In Kurt's furry arms were not one, not two, not three, but 20 copies of I Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix /I Kurt knew that they had to act fast, otherwise they would have an angry mob of mutants after him for stealing their books. Kurt threw all the books in the circle and looked at St. John.  
  
"You ready?" He asked.  
  
"Sure thang mate!" WHOOSH! A giant fire-bird came from St. John's lighter and engulfed the books. Kurt watched with fascination as the blue books became brown, and soon reduced to nothing but ash.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" Came they cry of a mob of angry mutants all running at him in slow motion.  
  
"Ahck no! Stop it right there!" Kurt said, holding out his arms and shaking his a fuzzy blue finger at them.  
  
"Mah books! Kurt! Ya're gonna pay fer that!" Rogue yelled at him.  
  
"Yeah!" The X-Men chorused.  
  
"Vait! Before you all attack me and St. John, please, let me explain myself!" Kurt told the angry mob.  
  
"But, you like, took my book and gave me a paper cut!" Kitty cried, holding up her bandaged finger.  
  
"He gave Kitty a paper cut! Let's get him!" The X-Men roared.  
  
"St. John," St. John then flicked on his lighter and created a fire barrier between Kurt and the angry mob of mutants.  
  
"I had to burn zhe books because. because." Kurt looked around wildly for inspiration. His eyes fell on St. John. "Because he made me! He said zhat he vas going burn mien tail if I didn't help him!"  
  
"No! That isn't how it was. You said that if I came over, you'd let me have a bon fire!"  
  
"Nien!"  
  
"Listen, can we just attack someone? We're an angry mob. We're not going anywhere until we get something to attack!" Bobby yelled.  
  
"Attack!" The X-Men yelled.  
  
"Fine! I admit it! I was put up to it!" St. John said with an evil grin in his eye.  
  
~  
  
"Oh what a beautiful morning! Oh what a beautiful day! I've got a beautiful feeling! Everything's going my way! All the cattle at standing like statues! All the cattle are standing like statutes! And the corn is as high as an elephants eye! And it looks like it's climbing clear up to the sky!" Our resident evil villan sang happily, dancing around the kitchen in an apron, with a broom. Earlier, St. John and Remy had gotten in a flour fight, and Magneto had to clean it up. And he didn't want to. But to make it all better, Eric had borrowed one of Sabertooth's various CD's. This one, was Oklahoma. Then, the CD switched as it was one of those nifty 6 CD thingys. Soon, the lovely sounds of All He Cares About filled the room. "Aalll! I care about iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisssssssssssssss loooooooooooovvvvvvveeeeeeeee!" Eric finished this with a slide on his knees, his arms outstretched, holding the broom in one hand. He almost ran smack into a very angry mob. "Mommy?" He tried, but it was too late! The angry mob of X-Men had already attacked.  
  
~  
  
A/N  
  
Disclamier: I don't own Oklahoma, I don't own Harry Potter, I don't own Chicago, I don't own Billy Flynn. Who else don't I own?  
  
Kurt: Try zhe X-Men  
  
No, it wasn't that. something else.  
  
St. John: The Acolytes?  
  
No.  
  
Pietro: The-Brotherhood?  
  
No. It started with an X. Oh! I remember now! Xylephone! I don't own a Xylephone! But Stan Lee does! Does anyone besides me think Stan Lee looks like Hugh Heffner?  
  
Playmates: Nope  
  
Well. too bad! I am unique!  
  
~ASGT, who really hopes she can go the Renisance Festival tomorrow. Please. Storm. Don't make it rain. Please!  
  
Storm: Maybe..  
  
I'll give you a cookie.  
  
Storm: Okay! *Storm eats cookie*  
  
There we have it folks, a cookie solves everything! Remember that!  
  
~ASGT, the unique.  
  
Storm! I want my cookie back! It rained! It also rained when I went apple picking!  
  
Barbossa: Apple?  
  
Ahrgh! Everyone! Out! Flur! Back in your box!  
  
~ASGT the pissed. 


End file.
